Been feeling horrible as of lately. I have no idea if its because of the the people around me, or just my own feelings bringing me pain. It seems like a constant reminder every moment I breathe that wow... Im like this. Ive never seen myself like this, but I am, and I always have been ever since I figured out when I was little. I think a part of me always knew, but refused to accept it, because of how much guilt Itd bring me, so I chose to just ignore my own mind, but over the years became increasingly hard to ignore. I dont think Ill ever truly accept who I am, sure I can help it, but Itll never leave my mind no matter how hard I try. Its torture, living with something you cannot control, cannot help, but still shun yourself for. The only times I havent been feeling horrible is with my kitties or with someone I love, other than that, life's been ruthless. I live in my own personal hell, designed for me to live in pure guilt till my days are finally over, and until then I can only endure.
Song for the blog: